Wednesday 7 December 2011

A few of my favorite things

I’m only going by that song, but Julie Andrews and I have very little in common.
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens? Okay…first off, roses are overrated with or without any type of precipitation.
Whiskers on kittens? Kind of cute I guess, but I’d have to choose new puppy smell over kitten whiskers.
Bright copper kettles. What the hell? Not even in my top 500 favorite things.

I can appreciate warm woolen mittens for about five minutes until they start building up those golf ball sized clumps of snow. The balls of snow melt, the mitts get wet, and your hands freeze solid. Warm woolen mittens may have their place in a Gap commercial but they ain’t suitable for North of the 49th.
Brown paper packages tied up with strings? Bomb threat…obviously.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels? Seriously…even on their own, those things are a bit creepy. You put them together and it sounds like some weird sacrificial Nazi feast.

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodle. Annoying, annoying and again with the crappy German food.

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings? Umm, I guess wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings can’t be blamed for trying to get to Florida, but with such wonders available such as single malt scotch, smoked salmon and Gibson guitars, I don’t see how this could be one of anyone’s favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes? Not an option for a high school teacher.

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eye lashes? That’s just annoying.

Silver white winters that melt into spring? Wait a minute….do we have common ground here Julie? I like the melty time of year too!  
If I ever meet her, I’m going to bring this up, just to break the ice. She’s still alive right?

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